Saturday, 12 November 2011

Challenge 11: Change a day


38. If you could go back and change one day in your life, what would you change and why? (Santa Clara University)

All the events that I have experienced have taught me a certain lesson and made me who I am today. Whether they have had a positive impact on me, or a negative one, I have eventually learnt something from them; therefore, I would not want to change any particular day if I could, but if I had to, it would be Thursday, December 16, 2010.

I am usually not the kind of person to hurt somebody intentionally or talk back to elders, especially coming from a society in which elders are highly respected. But after being exposed to many different cultures and thoughts, my values changed from what they used to be – not an extreme change, but a slight one. This became very evident that night.

Like every other evening, Amala, my mother, came to pick Wangchuk, my brother, and me up from the hotel. It was a chilly evening, and by six o’clock the sky had become pitch black. It had been a rough day for me, not enough sleep from the night before had made me very snappy at anybody that expressed an opinion that differed from mine. Wangchuk had to face the snappy me throughout the whole day, so he realized it would be best if he just didn’t talk. As we heard a honk from the parking lot, we bundled ourselves up in our warmest coats and headed for the car. Surprisingly, Amala was making her way into the hotel. “I’ll get my bag and be right there,” she said with the most warming smile. I tried smiling back, but gave up, and continued on to the car. I chose to sit in the back, something I rarely do. Wangchuk and I sat there in the car, patiently; a minute had passed. Five minutes passed. It had been ten minutes and Amala still wasn’t back! I wasn’t surprised, but I wanted to get back home, so I got out and stomped into the hotel. I saw exactly what I didn’t want to see, Amala talking to the receptionists about how the day went. Amala became aware of my presence and hurried back to the car.

“You always do this,” I said in a tone I shouldn’t be talking in. “Momo-la (grandmother) was right when she said you forget your priorities and start talking to people at the wrong time.”
The tone I used hurt my mother more than the words. Silence followed for quite a while, until Wangchuk broke the silence and had a conversation with Amala. I felt neglected. I caught onto something Wangchuk said, and I totally disagreed with it, so I corrected him in my snappy tone. Jokingly Amala commented, “tsk tsk, your sister is just like a cat (used as an adjective in Tibetan).”

I was in no mood to joke, and Amala sided with Wangchuk in the conversation which had turned into an argument. By now I was hurt too, even though the reason for arguing was pointless. “You always side with him! Ever since I can remember, it’s always been Wangchuk, Wangchuk, Wangchuk.” Amala sighed heavily, and tried talking to me and apologizing, but I just kept quiet. After sometime, Amala was quiet too. I had avoided looking at the mirror until the silence. I saw tears well up in my mother’s eyes. I hated the fact that Amala apologized to me, when the fault was all mine, and seeing her in this state.

Things turned out pretty okay by the time we got home. The forming of tears stung my eyes as I apologized and I sighed with relief as I plunged into Amala’s arms. That night, as I thought over all that had happened in the car I realized how rude I had been my mother. To begin with I should have never showed her that attitude while I waited for her. If I could have changed things, it would have been the way I thought. Not having seen my mother the whole day, I should have been happier to see her. I should never have made that comment about Momo-la and realized that Amala, being the person she is, loves to talk, and whatever she was talking about must have been important. Lastly, I would apologize to Wangchuk for being so snappy. I don’t want to be a person that hurts others and is the reason for someone to be crying, especially to those that I love.


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